i just wanna soil my oats bro
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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