You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
