You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Randomize
