he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
