idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
