i don't plan on having that self control this summer
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
