his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
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I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
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He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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