why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
