I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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