dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
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