dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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