I molested 6 butterflies tonight
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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