There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
