we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
