kristin has been a bad kristin
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
birth control should be required to get into college
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
