your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
