No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
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