It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
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I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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