Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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