I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
