he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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