I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
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Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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