I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
