U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
