just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
