He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
she peed on how many people?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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