Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Randomize
