i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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