hotel room ftw
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
