I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
its not stalking. its research.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
