One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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