I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
