is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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