I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
