Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
