and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
How does it feel to date your dad?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
