Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
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