He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i will never coherently bang her
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
it's like heaven, but drunker
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
A+ Viking dick
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