i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
