Do vagina's smell?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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