Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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