Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
ugly people sure do ruin things
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
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can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
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I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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