his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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