I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
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I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
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At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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