hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
