he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize