so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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