Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
