I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize