i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
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