So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
It all started with a game of naked twister.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
