I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
