so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
