is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize