Having a random hookup so left but love u
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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