3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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