I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Randomize
