wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Randomize
