Christians are straight up FREAKS
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
