U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
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